We All Seek New Beginnings in New People

Through my half marathon, this is one of the thought that came to me. To why I am bad at keeping in touch, to why I only kept close to afew others, to how I'll always disappear in the eyes of many others. To how I only kept those who'd seen my darkness next to me, and to... how I let down those who'd not seen my damaged self, and the whole paradox of why I am not what I portray myself to be.

Perhaps, we all seek that new beginning in people.

We meet new people all the time, from gaming, traveling, work and anything that'll give us a chance to rub shoulders, because it's a small world after all. Even though we can't really start afresh, meeting new people would mean forging new relationships and there's the closest thing to a blank canvas that we could ever get. This is probably also a way for us to cope, to run away. We get to mold impression, we get to tell stories, hide insecurities, show parts of our darkness and it is as good as an open source social program.

I'd like to think that psychologically this is what we do, to cope in this really small tight world, where buildings as as good as being in arms length with each other, as our faces are plastered to man made led screens drifting across the virtual worlds instead of basking in the masterpiece of mother nature. This is the new era now.

I'm guilty of it, seeking new beginnings, in one way or another. This is perhaps the way for me to show my darkness without risking losing my close ones, for they didn't get see my inner thoughts. I seek solace in strangers from distant worlds as we connect on our bizarre similarities, like haunting kindred spirits, alive in the middle of the night.

Maybe, its a good thing after all you know. Like... we'll eventually be better, for better relationships... Like how we could work better with a blank canvas, as much as we kept trying and trying, but as long as we don't give up. We would eventually find our people, in the midst of those darkness.