HER: Kuala Lumpur 02
“Do you still remember how we first met?”
“I do, ahaha OMG,” “I was so awkward back then, and you barely had time.”
“You were too formal,” she chuckled and said.
“It’s been a while,” I said with a slight smile.
“It sure is.”
*
It was difficult to plan a meet-up with Kay, as we both started to adult up; her drowning with work, and me too. Finally, I have put down my backpack and started adulting as my family needs me to help out around the house.
It was a strange journey, to revisit her again after these years, after all the working, the accident, the death of the hope of traveling again, the extinguishing of my dreams. But little did I know, meeting Kay would reignite what little flicker of passion I had.
My undying flame of art kept me sane back home, amongst the monotonous routine of door knocking, pitches, and document handling. I could feel myself come back alive every now and then; doodling, sharing travel stories, checking off art places and events.
“Okay, I’ll be taking the whole Friday off. I’ll be able to do a full art tour with you.”
That’s all it took to breathe life into me again as I felt a new spark brightening inside. The visit to Kay felt more like an upcoming adventure, instead of what felt like an obligatory catch-up.
*
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I’ve heard a lot from the Soko sisters, and Seoul was still wondering what you’ve been up to.”
“Ahh yeah, about that… it’s truly been a while…”
“Since you’ve spoken to anyone?”
“To anyone aside from work,” I said while scratching the back of my head, trying to laugh off the confrontational anxiety.
The murder of my travel persona felt like something that was inevitable as I put off a lot of things. I let go of many things, and perhaps I eventually felt the deconstruction of my personality allowed me to rebuild a better one for adulting. I did what I could.
It was interesting hanging out with KL and some of her friends, as I could observe them chattering over hotpot, gesturing for us to eat more, calling for seconds. It felt like a reunion in a place that I have long forgotten. Times like this made me wonder how Taipei is doing.
I found myself dreaming again before Kay snapped me back into reality. “Here, try this!” she said as she placed some unidentifiable meat onto my bowl. “This is good, just try it, okay.” She refused to tell me what it was until I swallowed it.
It was really nice to hang out with fellow kindred spirits as Kay and her friends brought me to different bookstores across the city, where we got lost literally in mountains and labyrinths of books. The maze of genres built by the walls of books awed me, as I ran my fingers across the countless spines as I would across the rocks during my hike. It felt oddly therapeutic, I swear.
*
I woke up at 8 a.m. for our Art Tour where it’s only Kay and I since everyone else decided to sleep in. She’d prepared a list and array of places that we could cross out, and how could I say no? My body was no longer weary at the thought of crossing out art spaces since I could not do it when I first came here.
Kay brought me to her lab, or that’s what she called it; Lab 16, where she and her architect friends created a network of collaborative spaces that have conjoining backyards. It was an interesting space where they still get to retain their unique personas yet create a cohesive space. It felt like a smack from the universe, telling me not to lose myself.
The art tour was great. We met a hugely adored Rex, a guy who’s known to be the “Rex of all trades,” Ilham, a humble and soft-spoken artist who is known for her merch. And of course, I couldn’t resist and ended up spending $200 bucks grabbing art pieces to bring back home.
We hung out at the Gallery, yet another open and communal space for artists alike; it felt like a wake-up call to me, asking me never to let go of art, and I was drifting away in my thoughts before I felt Kay shaking my hand, trying to shake me back to reality. I smiled again, awkwardly this time.
*
“I found you dreaming a lot, you okay?” Kay asked as we were lying down, gazing at the afternoon clouds through the skylights of Lab 16.
“I… I don’t know. It’s just been so long, y’know.”
“Know that it’s not just you. It was a worldwide emergency, we all had to stop. And things changed.”
“And I grew… older this time.”
“Working Ronnie eh?! No longer a man-child this time.”
“W… wait… what?! I’m more mature than most man-childs, alright?!” I retorted weakly, knowing it’s not true.
“It’s a compliment. It’s good to be grounded, y’know. Though it’s fun to be free, like a building, we need to have a good foundation. Then we can stand up and stand tall… and one day, even taller than the mountains and the skies.” This time, it felt like Kay was the one dreaming instead, as I felt her voice drift away as she closed her eyes.
And I closed mine too, this time smiling… not awkwardly anymore.
*
“Remember… there’s always a way to still be yourself. You just need to find it, okay!”
“I will… thank you, Kay… okay! OH KAY! Get it?!” I replied, thinking it was witty and punny.
“Tsk tsk! Still a man-child, I guess.”
“Oi!”
And before we knew it, it was time to go back again; to home. I felt my goosebumps rising as we embraced for one last time, as I took a deep breath, taking it all in once again before I go.
I felt like I know Kay better this time. And perhaps maybe not just Kay… but myself too.
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