HER: Kuala Lumpur 03

"It's been a awhile."

“Yea, I’ve been busy.”

“I heard from the sisters that you haven’t been writing back.”

“Yea… work really took a toll on me this time.”

“And we saw that you went partying with Chi.”

“It was an impromptu trip, just a few days of escape. You know how it is for me now.”

“No more months-long travel, huh?”

“Yea…” It felt like my fate was sealed after the word escaped me.

“But that doesn’t mean you stop completely, no?”

She took my luggage and gestured me into her car, and we started driving across the city. She pointed out the different projects that she’s involved in.

Then we both complained about our share of work—her architectural drama, and clients who made me question humanity as a realtor. It felt like a reunion with an age-old friend, for we have grown up now.

It was like the same conversation again, last year, where she asked me not to lose myself, and I looked out the window, wondering if there was any bit of me waiting to be saved. Or perhaps this is me now, the workaholic who can’t stop turning the cogs and gears, for he felt that the world would crumble at the thought of it. Responsibilities.

“For these few days, just follow me, okay? Let me bring you on a two-day special art tour. And this guy, Ilham—you’ll like him!”

The first day we went to the opening of a project that she’s been working on—GMBB.

“Finally, we can sow the seeds of our labor!” she shouted as she pushed the doors open. A building standing nine stories tall, with its neon streaks across, the modern curves reflecting the sunlight.

We went in, and it was a huge riot of artists greeting us. Some cheering, some doing art, some dancing. It was just like a festival.

“I want to make a place where people could do what they love, you see,” Kay smiled and said.

“So after so many years, you’ve done it! I’m proud of you,” I smiled back and said.

She brought me through the different shops, each with a different theme. It felt like...

*

We met Ilham. This time we sat at his office space, which was turned into a jungle-themed installation. There was papier-mâché around, giving the walls a bit of texture. Shards of glass were laid out near the bottom of the wall, and the lights were refracting different shapes across the walls, just like grass in the forest.

“It’s a journey, like the papers. The walls are imperfect… no?” he said profoundly as he glided his hands across the walls.

“This is like our life, looming, dark. We don’t know where the light comes from, or if it will ever come,” he continued.

Kay and I nodded as we slowly shuffled our feet through the darkness. The sound of the drums grew louder and louder, and with each step, even though we were in the darkness, it felt like we now took them with more conviction… and clarity.

“There, the sound—it guides you! You know where?” he asked as he rested his hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged, and I guess he felt it.

“Here. The drum is inside you. The voices, the sound. Inside you all along.” He then held my hand and placed it on my chest, where my heart is.

I felt a tinge of goosebumps. When was the last time I had ever listened to my gut?

“Don’t answer me,” he said as if hearing my inner thoughts. “Listen, experience, take it in, put it out. The answer will come.”

*

I also took this time to meet up with some other friends in the city, together with Kay. It was nice to have a meal together. One of them even brought this game called Icebreaker! A card game with six decks, each depicting a different topic for us to answer and be vulnerable.

That night we explored our past regrets, lost loves, and reimagined another future. It almost felt like a spiritual trip this time around with Kay.

“So… back to the grind soon, right?”

“Right back into the hustle.”

“Don’t lose yourself, y’know.”

I looked at her and nodded in silence, finding myself unable to keep this promise, so I didn’t want to say it.

She seemed to know as well, as she looked out at the city lights. After everyone was gone, it was just us at the balcony. I could see some lights turning off as we were well past midnight. We stood there in silence.

“Remember Ilham?” she said as she placed her hand on my chest.

I could feel my chest swell up, as if trying to stop myself from crying. Yet a part of me was wondering if I was sad… or numb.

“I know, I felt it. You know how I always get goosebumps whenever I see art that connects with me. It’s still there.”

“Then you remember that it’s still here.”

“Always.”

It was definitely a memorable one despite it being so different from the others. Perhaps this is what makes me the traveler—when I visit different people and their worlds, and write stories about them.\

*

The departure is always sad, as I insisted on walking Kay back to the car. She’s always been the one sending me off, and I wanted to give back.

“Here is enough, my car is just a few steps away.”
“Oh! Before I forget, I want to give this to you! You said you love anthologies, right? You’ll love this,” she said as she quickly pushed a book into my hands.

“Woah… thank you! Yes, I do.”

“Go on, don’t be late!” she shouted as she turned me around and pushed me forward, as if we were starting to feel awkward again.

“Okay, okay—”

“And come back again soon, okay?” I could feel her hand holding onto my arm for a little longer than a split second when she asked.

“I will. Before you know it,” I turned back and smiled at her.

“Okay—I’ll see you soon! Stay in touch.”

And just like that, I saw Kay slowly walk over to her car, start the engine, and drive off.

I took a deep breath, held onto my book, pulled up my backpack, and prepared myself to head back.