One of the highlights of our Seoul Searching adventure in South Korea was attending the ULTRA KOREA music festival.
    But I only got to live 1.5 of the 2-day event... because halfway through the event on the first day, I was too drunk.
    I was smashed.

    Prior to that, we had predrinks and I thought I had it under control.
    I'm tipsy enough to talk to strangers.
    We made friends from all over the world, we sang together with this group of amazing Frenchmen, danced with Brazilians, "drunk-salute" people from the states, and gave hi-fives a bunch of Japanese.
    It's nice, the human connection. It truly is.

    I was never an extrovert hence deep inside I always like to have a little alcohol to push me to socialize.
    And most of the time it works, even though sometimes I could left feeling a little too drunk or a little too sober to talk.
    But I'm always impressed when it does.
    I could make friends from anywhere, from the main doors to the club tables and even the toilet even!

    On that day of ULTRA
    I even "forced" this male staff to take his co-worker out for a date after the even because I think they look cute together.
    (To be honest, I actually forgotten how they look like.)
    I gave everyone hi-fives and hugs and...
    It only took me a while to realise.
    That I’m a little too drunk for my own good.
    I felt unwell.

    "please don't shut down", I mumbled to myself as the loud thumping sound from the rave hurting my head.
    "please don't shut down"
    "stand and dance"

    I did. and before I knew it, I lay by the side.

    -blacks out-

    I had more remorse inside.
    Nothing but apologies.
    As ironic as it is I was the sober one when I'm with my clubbing friends, but whenever I was with my boys, I just lost control.
    Maybe sometimes I just like to drink.
    Mostly to get myself into the state where I could be more talkative, more sociable.

    Usually, after drinking, I’ll be able to be who I could be.
    The one who can speak without holding back, the one who can give handshakes and smile without any judgement holding him back.


    DAY 2

    I held back on drinking the next day. I was quiet, still filled with guilt, but we had fun.
    The music came to life and the DJ blared the familiar mix amongst the crowd.

    We had our hands in the air.
    It was memorable, even though we're not there to pick up girls or take a joint. We're just by ourselves, and I'm happy.
    I had my arm around the shoulders of my boys and deep inside.. I'm thankful for them.

    And for that, the second day, we really had a lot of fun. Just us, being there, enjoying the music.
    I felt no need to smash myself with drinks to step up, to play an extrovert, to show everyone I could hold my liquor (or maybe not) or having fun.
    But I’m just having fun being me.

    And it’s really nice, a good one, where we get to meet and make friends with people from all over the world (again).
    Since we bought our own Singapore flag over… Guess what?
    Singaporeans start swarming to us, dancing, swaying, with our hands up in the air.
    And when the familiar hit came, boy did we sang at the top of our hoarse voice.
    The moment was beautiful, I stood by the grass patch, squeezing with thousands of sweaty body, with our phones hosted up unstably while we starred out at the DJ who spins the music while the lights occasionally blinding us.

    At some moments I do admit that some flashes bought me back to the toxic superficial zombie clubbing scene.
    But basking the atmosphere here… It’s really different.

    Many people say raving is a hype, and there are other hipster events which deemed themselves superior.
    And we met party goers who claim that they're ravers not clubbers, and the bizarre label war goes on.

    But I guess, for that… we will have to find out ourselves.

    So… forget about the ticket cost, about the nervousness, just go for it.

    At least try it for once, so you’ll get a first-hand experience on how you would feel.

    And you’ll know what you would really like.

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