2am thoughts: inherently broken

I sat here, wondering how you'd been. It's been 2 months since I'd last hear from you since I'd last see your face since I'd let you go. It felt like you just went on as if I have faded away. As if I don't exist. As if you tore off our chapters right off your book and move on. And meanwhile, I'm holding the pages half wishing you'll come back, knowing that nothing more could be done.

The ghost of you and haunts me everywhere I go. That scarlet heart theme song that goes on when I was too shy to hold your hand when we're just friends played during one of the afternoons. The places we have been, where I would twirl you around like nobody's watching and your eyes sparkled like the stars in broad daylight. The nights where I saw the reflection of the fairy lights in your dreamy hazel pupils when you told me your ambitions and dreams. And corners where I'll peck you on your cheek just to watch you flushed until the moonlight while your eyes slowly turn into a chirpy glee.

I had several breakthroughs in my life, but you're not here. I know I have to let you go. I am however still empty and inherently broken. I clutched tighter to our stories, knowing that there's nothing else that I could change, even though I hope if only I could. It is at timing like these where it is the toughest, as I cycle through tragic love songs as if my heart doesn't know it is over.

But I know this is, not the end... There would be more nights like these. Where I would miss you, where I would hold onto us for that one more night just so I could live through this little simple bliss and happiness again for alittle longer...albeit the hurt. Yes, this phase that I would always hold onto you, just because you are a beautiful person, and you once cradled my heart and spoke to my soul. And now I have to be whole on my own.