An Open Letter To Jimmy Liao

Dear Jimmy Liao,

Of course, like how all fan mail begins. I know you, but you don't know me. But that's okay, because it seems like the universe you created knows me. Here I am, sitting at my desk in 2019, trying to recount all the arts and books that you have create, which have touched me. 

(Sorry if I remembered any of them wrongly)

The art that whispered to my soul when I was a teenager when I was 13. When I was trying to read Chinese from romantic novels, and when I thought my princess is going to save me from depression. I was a young romantic, with a delicate heart, I didn't know when to stop giving, and I didn't know my heart is made of glass.

So...
sometimes I give alittle too much
sometimes, people take more than I could give.
and sometimes... I broke.

I never knew how to express my thoughts and feelings other than sad love songs, and the TVs are filled with romantic drama that only speaks of the best-case scenarios. 

Then came your books... Thinking back, your books might actually be the ones which made me fall in love with arts. Your art added colors to my life, your words never fails to lift me up, and you taught me to fall in love with the moon. 

<月亮忘記了>

You told me about the secrets from the forest, where the trees could keep us safe.

森林裡的祕密>

You taught me to embrace my differences, my wings, to be positive in life. You taught me to be an angel, you taught me how to fly.

<幸運兒>

You shared with me how naiveness is not a weakness. How we could always grow, you made me think about love and losses. 

<1.2.3.木頭人>

 

In 2010, I almost gave up on my academics, but I stick to it anyway. 

I finished my O levels, and I was lost. I didn't do very well, and I realized, I wasn't that pefect after all. 

And your book made me smile alittle.

<我不是完美小孩>

In 2011, your poetry taught me about the preciousness of time. How we are always mislead to think otherwise, to take things for granted.  And we would inturn, grow stronger and be able to take care of the world. 

<世界別為我擔心>

In 2012, when I was alone, your book gave me a hug from the universe. It made me felt okay to be alone. It made me feel okay to be hurt, to be broken.
<擁抱> 

In 2016, my world fell apart when the love of my life of 10 years left me. And then you had this book, that spoke to my heart. The loss was a lot harder than I think. I was suicidal, I was in a lot of pain. And then, I saw your book smiling back at me when I was in a bookstore in Shanghai (MOMI CAFE). I bought it immediately.  <我的世界都是你>

The book is still sealed.  But I have read it, in the library! I started to become numb, I ignored my scars. Sometimes I couldn't feel alive at all, and I could only breathe to live. Travelling healed my soul, and writing allows blood to flows in my heart again.

And here I am, in 2019. I thought about your books again. I went to your website, running through your collections, looking at the books at grew up with me. I thought about the trip that I'll be embarking. The one way ticket out to Taiwan, where I will try to learn to live again. Where I could push myself and grow... 

Even though I didn't finish all your books, 
Even though some art of them spoke to me more,
Even though some of them left me more questions,
Even though I might be too young to understand the full context

I am still thankful for your books. The whimsical tales that left each and every pages with more depths than it's mere thickness. The thoughts that would trail across your heart longer than words.

Now I'm here to travel through Taiwan, alittle more sensible, a little more mature, but I would still always dare to dream. I would really love to drop by the library and reread some of your collections again and reconnect. 

And I will look forward to visiting your landmarks in Yilan station :D


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