It's 4am in the morning, and I'd officially finished binging on the second season of my possibly favourite Thai Drama. If you haven't heard of it, please just give this drama a go if you yearn for something dark, gritty that comes with a tinge of vengeance.
Each episode is actually a fresh new story and I'd say that the first season felt more like a standalone in each of their own and the second season kinda gives some sort of a timeline to the series. Throughout the second season, there is some sort of a progression of sort or a direct development due to recurring characters interacting. So instead of just X, there's X and Y in the equation now, giving this formula a new mix.
My thoughts are jumbled up at the moment, though I really do wanna write about it. I... I used to be alittle more vengeful. Probably hence it is why I have some sort of an appeal to the show like this. I was drawn towards the whole punishment, giving them a feel how it is like. I may have been guilty of that, but then again... after getting jaded and knowing that it doesn't necessarily work out flawlessly. I think part of me got shut down and I joined the other side instead.
I... love less, I give less, all the in the essence of wanting to come out in the upper hand, and getting hurt less. So instead of being vengeful, I somehow became less... "alive?"? Not exactly the right choice of word here. But that being said I also understand why people would turn bad; the fuckboy vicious cycle. Or the fuckery vicious cycle, of how the guy gets hurt, then numbed himself by sleeping around, or girl etc.
Down the rabbit hole of my years of living, of how I changed, how I thought is a punishment, how much justice I thought would be suffice. I only came back up with more questions than answers. I think at the end of the day, I only understand more about myself, not others. About how my functions changed over the traumas, and how I outgrew, eventually improve and become better.
I think out of the drama context, judgement isn't exactly black and white. We have so much to look at, pasts to chase, and it is really hard to even quantify our emotional history on a spreadsheet for judgement. Just how much is bad, how much is good?
======= Spoilers Below =======
The existence of Yuri was a good one actually. It shows us how people behave sometimes. Instead of being vengeful (alright), sometimes the quick way is to just delete them. Yuri behaves like a Death Note, right up, the most extreme way of suffering. And that also includes hurting people to get to where she wants.
As interesting as it sounds, this drama is as human as it is, even though we are watching these seemingly invincible superior beings that get the job done.
I also like how the power could be transferred, and how Yuri would be abusing her power, such turn of the drama actually adds another dimension or layer to the show; like how it isn't just N + (variable of people), it'll be N + Y + (variable of people), this kinda mixes things up alittle instead of just a straight-up punishment.
Creating an "equal", will also puts the show in a new balance. Of how every "Batman" needs a "Joker"
It's been a crazy day, going through it all, wondering about the things I did, good and bad. And I think at the end of the day, it is nice to know that humans are actually capable of change. It's up to us to believe it.
And as funny as it sounds, I'd still like to adopt Caocao's belief, on the fact that I rather screw up than let people screw me up.