There Are No New Beginnings

I hate to break it to you, here and now. Because I hate to hear it as well. But it is nevertheless the truth. We all want to be able to have a clean slate whenever we messed up, a chance to do over, a reset button of sort. That's probably how I love to travel, to get out of everything, to be as far away as possible, to create a persona that is truly me. Just only to know that it is just a temporal fix to all this.

There isn't a clean slate.

"To new beginnings", they say. "New year, new me", we cheered on as the clock strikes 12, as if that everyone else that doesn't matter or hurt us would just vaporize. But they do linger at the back of our head. There is a thin line between forgetting and erasing the existence of. And as life is a canvas, what's painted is painted, as per what's done, as done.

However, we could paint it over. Start over, even though it is not afresh anymore. We couldn't erase mistakes but we could learn from them. We couldn't cancel out all the wrongs, but we can balance our consciousness with more rights. We couldn't get rid of all the voices, but we can tell them good things. We are always starting somewhere, a new habit, change. There are no new beginnings over everything, but with change, you get to work with what's left. You get to paint over, you get to fix the cracks, you get to replace the cogs. You'll still get choices.

So as much as there are no new beginnings, please know that nothing is over, for as long as you live. You just have to take the steps to change, to actively steer our course of life to something better, to somewhere that you eventually won't mind ending up at, be it a job or a person. The Universe would always make you go through things, feel emotions, just so you can be here, now. Let depression makes you dig deep, unroot your fears, understand your hatred, and let happiness reminds you what's worth living for.

Embrace it. Know that there's no clean slate, but also understand that for as long as you're alive, you'll have a chance to paint over, a chance to choose colors again, and you'll get to keep painting until you get something you like. So be the change you would like to see.