My Mantras of Running Meditation

I'm trying to catch my breath, trying to make sense of what that had been going on these few days. Upon my physical transcendence, I'd been clocking 3-5minutes better than my usual best timing. It was a victory, and the sweat tasted sweet this time.

I went on my run again, this time more aware of my body instead of letting my mind drift away, taking my mind off the run while my body mechanically clocks the mileage. We should be present, to be there with our body, to be running with our body, together as one.

During my Vipassana Meditation retreat, I'd learn to be more aware of things, to focus, even though I might have failed miserably in life whenever I relapsed. I however always dig "Running Meditation", or if it even exists. You know how the saying, running can clear your mind? It works as the saying goes.

I know ideas come to us sometimes, while we dwell in thoughts, while we wandered through the past and future in our mind, hoping that we can make changes and tweak our way to our perfect lives. But it isn't how it is supposed to me. Running, as ironic as it sounds, should make us face our problems, not be away from it.

I'd never been so focus for a long time, this time I'm all concentrating on just my breathing, making sure I'm bringing my legs to my pace, letting my body flow as I concentrate on breathing, doing light strides, to push my body as effortlessly as possible against the wind. The sweat collected at the corner of my eyes, as I momentarily blink them away as I tried not to have any unnecessary problem if possible. My job is to make sure I keep breathing and my average speed is in my range, if not better.

Thoughts came again, as the greeneries in my peripheral vision move to a blur as I picked up my speed. I whispered to remind myself to focus, only to have myself wandering again before I tried to bring myself back. "Focus...", I whispered under my breath and I could feel droplets of sweat flinging away as I'm clocking my 5th kilometer.

"I let you go", I whispered and smile, as if I'd found my Eureka moment. "I let you go", I said again, this time picking up speed. Dozen of thoughts came in, flooding me as if a test. And I'd found my mantra during my running meditation that works for me. "Thank you", I said as the thoughts shown me the good times as if trying to break me into relapse again. The monster was using the absence of the good to lure me into labeling myself broken again. But this time, I would not falter, as I whispered "Thank you", again while picking up speed.

I went onto a light sprint, on my 7th 8th kilometer, as I felt the wind plastering against my face felt like hands pulling me forward instead of slowing me down. I felt unstoppable, I felt the vortex of dark energy left my body and dissipate amongst the forest back there. The forest has taken my pain away. I realized I begin to accept everything there is, all the cards that have been dealt with me; the good and the bad. The happiness that doesn't last and the pain that is over but I chose to hold onto it, only as an excuse for my weakness.

But tonight I shouldn't fall.
I have been fighting an invisible battle with myself that I should have won long ago, and it is through accepting, that I'd learn during my running meditation, a very simple textbook answer that is always left forgotten, that gave me the strength to push on.
Thank every wonderful moment you had, be it long or short.
Let go of anything that is over, be it good or bad.
And you deserve to find peace and happiness in the world, much like everyone else.